Every early childhood teacher has experienced challenging behaviors: the child who refuses to follow directions, hits a classmate, or melts down during transitions. It’s easy to label these moments as “bad” behavior, but what if we viewed them differently? What if these behaviors are actually messages for us to decode?
Children often communicate their needs through their behavior, especially when they don’t yet have the vocabulary or emotional awareness to express them. In this post, we’ll explore how rethinking challenging behaviors as forms of communication can transform the way we respond in the classroom. You’ll discover practical strategies for identifying what a child’s behavior might be telling you and learn how to respond effectively to meet the need behind the behavior.
Young children are still developing the communication skills and emotional awareness they need to effectively express their complex feelings. So when a child feels frustrated, overwhelmed, hungry, tired, scared, or disconnected, they often communicate through their actions instead.
A tantrum might be saying, “This change feels too big for me.”
Pushing a peer might mean, “I don’t know how to join in.”
Withdrawing quietly might signal, “I’m feeling unsure or left out.”
Instead of reacting to the surface behavior, we can look deeper and ask: “What is this child trying to tell me?”
Every challenging behavior has a cause, and it’s our job to identify it. Some common motivators of challenging behaviors include:
Try This: Identifying the specific trigger of your student’s behavior may take time and careful observation. You can use ABC Documentation – Antecedent (what happened before), Behavior (what the child did), Consequence (what happened after) – to note the specifics of the behavior you’re seeing. Your notes will often reveal patterns that help you identify triggers or needs you might not have otherwise noticed.
Seeing behavior as communication doesn’t excuse hurtful actions—but it does help us respond more effectively. We can seek to understand and affirm the emotion or need behind a behavior without affirming the behavior itself.
Looking at the root cause of the behavior, rather than just the behavior itself, shifts our response from punishment to support. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” we can ask, “What support or skill does this child need right now?”
When we teach academic skills, we assess students’ knowledge and look for gaps in their learning. The same can be true of social-emotional learning, and challenging behaviors are a perfect opportunity to observe learning gaps.
When we encounter challenging behavior, it can help to pause and ask: What skill does this child need to help them succeed in this situation? For example:
As educators, we have the opportunity to fill these social-emotional learning gaps for children so they can flourish both in and out of the classroom.
It’s not easy to stay calm in the face of challenging behaviors, especially in a busy classroom. But reframing behavior as communication allows teachers to approach children with empathy instead of frustration, and curiosity instead of control.
Every child is telling us something through their actions, and our role is to listen. When we do, we transform challenging moments into opportunities for connection, growth, and learning for both the child and the teacher.
At FirstDay Learning, we help educators identify and respond to challenging behavior with confidence.
Our evidence-based training, coaching, and resources give teachers the support and strategies they need to tackle classroom challenges. Explore our online training courses or call (434) 989-2434 to learn how we can support your team.