It can be difficult to foster a positive relationship between school and home, especially when a child’s behavior causes challenges in the classroom. But there’s a formula for communicating with parents that can help ease discussions around uncomfortable or frustrating topics, like challenging behaviors.
When we set a positive tone, share honest observations, honor parent feedback, and prioritize collaboration, we forge pathways for consistent and effective communication. This kind of parent-teacher relationship requires and values the participation of each party and ensures that everyone feels heard and supported every step of the way.
Giving some extra thought to your meeting space and body language can go a long way in helping families to feel comfortable as you meet together. Keep in mind that while some adults love the nostalgia of stepping foot in a school building, others may feel extra nervous in a school environment, reminded of their own negative experiences from childhood. Consider meeting in a bright and cheerful classroom, rather than a more formal conference room or office. Greet families with a smile and ask them about their day, a football team they love, or upcoming holiday or weekend plans. Taking a few moments to help families feel comfortable will go a long way in making your meeting time more collaborative and productive.
As you begin your meeting, the first thing you share with families should be something you love about their child. You can share about a recent achievement, a moment when they showed kindness toward a classmate, or a story of a time they really had a blast during a lesson or activity. Parents often know they are attending a meeting about a problematic behavior, so beginning with a positive anecdote can help to disarm and comfort parents and communicate that you see their child as more than a behavior challenge.
Open the floor for families to share first. You are the expert on early childhood education, but they are the experts on their child. They may share about something happening at home that is contributing to the behavior. Some parents may want to acknowledge that they see these challenging behaviors too and just aren’t sure what to do about it. Or they may have nothing to say, and that’s okay. Regardless of their response, this moment in the conversation allows you to show parents that you value their expertise, and that you plan to work together as a team to develop a plan for supporting their child.
As you summarize the behavior challenges you’re seeing in the classroom, be as objective and specific as you can. Notes and data are really helpful here. For example, if you have logged the frequency of the child’s hitting or the duration of their tantrums, you should share your observations so that parents can better visualize the behavior.
Avoid describing your feelings toward the behavior and focus on the observable impact of the behavior in the classroom. For example, does it cause a disruption in the lesson so that the class isn’t able to continue learning? Does the behavior endanger other students?
Finally, if you have completed ABC Documentation (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence) to better understand the underlying causes of the child’s behavior, share your conclusions with parents. This type of observation and documentation will help families to understand what might be causing the behavior, which will help you to develop a plan that meets the specific needs of their child.
Try your best to rely heavily on your ABC notes as you draft a plan for addressing the behavior. This ensures that the solution accurately addresses the problem.
1. How will you address the behavior at school?
Begin by sharing what you are doing, or will be doing, to address the behavior at school. Describe how your strategies help prevent the behavior, how you are responding to the behavior, and what skills you are working on with the child to help the child change their behavior.
2. How can families address the behavior at home?
Next, share some ideas for what families can do at home to be in-sync with the school behavior change plan. Perhaps they can respond to the behavior the same way you do in the classroom to promote consistency. You might share some ideas for reinforcing the behavior change skills you are teaching at school. Don’t be afraid to get creative and ask families for their ideas too.
After the child’s family has had an opportunity to ask questions and share feedback and ideas, end the meeting by restating the plan and the goal. Make sure everyone is on the same page, and set a date for meeting again to touch base on progress.
As you wrap up the meeting, be sure to emphasize your optimism and the potential you see in their child. Remember, the reason you’re having this conversation is because you believe their child is capable of growth and change. You see the child’s potential for excellence, and you want to help them get there. Ending the meeting on this positive note helps reiterate that you are all on the same team, working together to help this child be the best they can be.
At FirstDay Learning, we help teachers to build confidence in their craft and feel prepared to share their expertise with families. Our evidence-based training, coaching, and resources provide opportunities for educators to better understand and address challenging behaviors. Explore our online training courses or call (434) 989-2434 to learn how we can support your team.